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rocketfic | your bruise

Title: Your Bruise by Rocketchick
Rating: 15+ Pairing: Sam/Janet
Notes: Set after "Death Knell" - also, a tag for The Beat of a Heart.

It's getting bluer and you can't keep faking
that you can't feel this anymore
Your Bruise, by Death Cab for Cutie

She wasn't sure how she'd ended up on the floor.

"God, Sam!"

And she definitely wasn't sure why Janet was here. But when the doctor knelt behind her and wrapped an arm across her chest, she decided that was a bit of uncertainty she could live with.

"You need to be more careful," Janet said.

"I was hungry," Sam complained. Now she remembered. Being hungry seemed like a perfectly logical reason to get out of bed, so she had. Only her body hadn't been terribly cooperative.

Janet's chuckle fluttered against her back. "We'll get you something to eat, but it would probably be better if you stayed in bed until you've slept off your meds. I know this stuff makes you a little loopy."

Had she the energy and mental wherewithal, Sam would have protested. She didn't feel loopy at all. She was just wondering when her bedroom had been painted blue.

"Mom? Everything okay?"

And why was Cassie here too? Sam's brow drew together in muddled frustration.

"We're all right, Cass. Would you mind making Sam a grilled cheese sandwich?"

The teen nodded amiably and disappeared again, though her head seemed to lag behind for a moment, like a helium balloon attached to her body by a string. Whoa. Sam blinked hard, and decided that maybe - just maybe - she was a little out of it after all.

"I love grilled cheese," she drawled.

Janet chuckled again. "I know you do, sweetheart."

Sam let her head loll backwards onto Janet's shoulder, and felt her friend's chin come to rest against her hair. It was so comfortable here, she wasn't sure getting back in bed would be any kind of improvement. She reached up clumsily, and by sheer luck landed her hand on Janet's forearm.

"And I love you," she blurted suddenly.

The doctor stopped breathing and froze for a long moment, then slid her hand up the side of Sam's face. "I know you do," she finally whispered.

Sam smiled drunkenly and was content to sit with Janet's fingers stroking her cheek.

"Oh, Sam. This is so complicated," Janet breathed.

"It's just grilled cheese," Sam countered. "Nothin' to it." She settled a little deeper into Janet's embrace, and sighed happily.

The doctor shook her head with a faint smile. "I guess you're right. Like falling off a log, huh?"

Sam's brow furrowed. Similes were a little past her cognitive ability right then.

"It's just... I worry about you, you know?" Janet murmured. "Every time I watch you go through the gate, I wonder if it'll be the last time I see you."

"I know," Sam said. "I do the same thing." The sadness she had been fighting unsuccessfully for days descended again suddenly, leaving her limp with melancholy in her friend's arms. "I can't lose you, Janet," she said, fighting off a sob.

"You won't," Janet vowed. "I'm here, and Cass came home to be with you. We're not going anywhere."

"Okay," the blonde said breathlessly, as she tried to take Janet at her word. She closed her eyes to savor the feel of the arms around her, and wasn't sure if she would laugh or cry when she heard Janet begin to hum softly, rocking her in time to an unknown song.

After they'd stolen a few minutes together, Cassie arrived with a sandwich done to Sam's liking - burned to a cinder - and a glass of orange juice. Mother and daughter had to team up to get Sam off the floor and back into bed without jarring her injured leg, but finally she settled against her pillows with a sigh, missing Janet's warmth.

The doctor sat on the edge of the bed, solicitously watching her friend eat, and smiling as Sam's eyelids drooped. "Feel better?" she asked, as she tucked the blankets more firmly around her friend.

"Be nicer if you were in here with me," Sam muttered.

Russet eyebrows shot up, but Janet couldn't hide a smile. "In valium veritas, huh?" she said with a chuckle.

"Mmm," Sam agreed, incoherently. "Be here when I wake up?"

Janet studied her for a moment, then leaned in and pressed her lips to Sam's, just long enough to leave no questions about her intent. "Of course," she whispered, while she stroked Sam's cheek with her thumb.

Sam blinked at her in surprise, then surrendered to sleep.

Sometime later, she'd tell Janet the weird things her brain had conjured while she was medicated. As dreams given free reign by a sluggishly-uninhibited conscious mind, the surreal images ran into each other like watercolor. Her jell-o had gained sentience for a moment, and told her the secret of the universe. Cassie's dog learned how to do the macarena, while apparently hovering a good eight inches off the ground.

It was all quite outlandish, and it made them both laugh. But for some reason, when she mentioned a grilled cheese sandwich and a kiss, Janet's only response was an enigmatic smile.

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