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rocketfic | sunday on the lake with janet

Title: Sunday on the Lake With Janet by Rocketchick
Rating: 15+ Pairing: Sam/Janet
Notes: Post-"Urgo," the unseen rowboat scene.

Cassie eyed the placid lake with distinct trepidation. "Are there sharks out there?"

"No, of course not," Janet answered as she slung a bright orange life preserver over her daughter's head.

"What about eels?"

The doctor rocked backward just a bit. "Eels? Have you been watching the Discovery Channel again?" She cast an accusing glance at Sam, who could only grin and shrug in defense.

"I just don't want to get bit," Cassie said plaintively. "Or stung. Or... licked, or anything. And it's really bright out here. Do we have enough sunscreen? What if there's toxic waste leaching into the ground nearby and we fall in and our cells start to mutate? Maybe this isn't a good idea."

Janet pulled her sunglasses down low on her nose, offering her very best Mom Look. "Cassandra Fraiser. Get in the damn boat."

The teen complied, but only after loosing an extraordinarily put-upon sigh. "Fine. But don't expect me to have fun."

"Trust me, that's the least of my concerns," Janet said dryly.

Sam sidled up to her friend and tilted her head close to Janet's ear. "I was never this much of a pain in the ass when I was fourteen."

The brunette winced. "I was." She could feel Sam's amused stare on her profile, and she had to fight off a blush. "Do you have the cooler?"

"Yup." Sam stepped into the boat and grabbed an oar. "C'mon, kiddo. You and I'll row first."

Janet perched in the front of the boat with a demure sigh. "Now that's what I like to hear."

They didn't say much as they paddled across the peaceful water. Near a small island they drew in their oars and drifted, watching the antics of waterfowl and other boaters off in the distance.

Sam cracked open the cooler and distributed a few drinks as they moved at a gentle pace of the lake's current.

"Okay, I can see why you thought this was a good idea," Cassie declared after a few minutes of silent floating. "You want to torture me."

Sam snorted into her soda.

"'Cause, you know, this is a real adventure, right here. Any more adrenaline and I'd need CPR." The teen sighed, and flopped backward dramatically. "How long do we have to sit out here?"

"Until you start to enjoy yourself, young lady," Janet answered. "Could take weeks."

Sam had to stifle a chuckle as she listened to mother and daughter out-sarcasm each other. Cassie was still young enough to think she had a chance at winning a battle of wits against the woman who regularly talked circles around Jack O'Neill and Daniel Jackson -- at the same time.

Cassie shifted to plant her elbows on the edge of the boat and look down at the passing water. "Can't wait to see the note you'll write getting me out of school for that one. 'I'm sorry Cassandra missed class. I was forcing her to learn the real meaning of fun in the smelly middle of nowhere while everyone else her age was happily sleeping in.'"

All of a sudden, Janet had had enough. With a lightning quick motion she reached out and shoved her daughter's shoulder, imparting just enough force to cause the girl to tilt over the edge of the boat.

Cass let out a startled squawk as she tipped face first into the lake. Sam jerked in surprise when the teen's feet flew past her face, then stared utterly dumbfounded at Janet. The doctor was already reclining peacefully against the back of the boat, sipping her soda as if absolutely nothing had happened.

"MOM!" came the outraged teenage cry from the water. "Did you just push me?! The water's all slimy! Augh!"

"Would I do such a thing?" the doctor asked sweetly.

Sam could not stop gaping. Surely Janet Fraiser -- Doctor, Major, staid, anal, "Have you eaten all your lima beans?" Janet Fraiser -- had not just dunked her daughter.

Surely, surely not.

"Are you having fun yet?" Janet called.

"NO!" Cassie screeched.

"Huh." Janet sat up then, and peered over the side of the boat. Cassandra was floating safely alongside, held aloft by her orange floatation device. The girl looked utterly horrified as she pulled bits of algae from her hair. "Wow. I think you're mutating already."

"This is Not Funny, Mother," the teen declared in a thoroughly scandalized voice.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure that depends on which side of the boat you're on," the doctor informed her drolly.

Sam would later claim temporary Goa'uld possession; it was the only explanation for the evil impulse that caused her to seize Janet's waistband and flip her into the water next to her daughter.

When Janet bobbed right side up and spat the water out of her mouth, it was hard to say which of the three women was more shocked.

"Sam!" Cassie and Janet cried simultaneously.

"Um. Sorry?" the blonde said, offering her most charming grin.

"I can't believe you did that!" the teen cried. She was fighting off a grin of her own, seeing her mother seethe in soaked embarrassment.

"Me neither," Janet growled.

Sam forced her smile just a little wider, realizing she'd made an apparent tactical error. "Heh."

The doctor shot a hand out of the water, reaching for Sam. "All right. At least help us back in the boat."

"Oh, sure." Sam clasped Janet's hand and reached for Cassie too. She missed the look Janet gave the teen, and the mischievous shared mother-daughter smirk.

Sam squeaked and somersaulted into the water with their combined pull. The force of her departure was enough to send the boat careening wildly to one side. It yawed and flipped over with a wet smack.

"Pah!" Sam gasped as she pulled her head out from under the water. She blinked at the capsized boat behind her, then spun until she'd located Janet. She reached out and latched a hand onto the doctor's life preserver, tugging her closer. "Hey, you okay?"

"Fine," Janet sputtered. She pushed her sodden hair out of her face. "You?"

"I'm okay," Sam assured her.

"Cass? Cassandra?!" the doctor called.

The girl dog-paddled from behind the flipped boat. "Mom, fish are eating my shoes, I swear. This is So Gross."

Sam burst out laughing then, thoroughly unable to contain her merriment. It had been such a long time since she'd participated in anything quite this silly. She pulled Janet even closer, kicking their legs together as they treaded in the murky water. After a moment Janet started laughing too, a delighted sound that bounced off the boat's hull and did amazing things in Sam's ears. She threw her arms around Sam's shoulders and lost herself to the utter ridiculousness of the situation.

Cassie glared at them both, then smacked at the water in frustration. "You're both insane," she declared. "I'm in the legal care of insane people. That's just great."

The three bobbed along happily until a ranger sped by in a motorboat and helped them right their vessel.

"Good morning, General," Janet said cheerfully the next morning as she strode into her CO's office. "I have those reports you requested." She dutifully held out the stack of files.

The general peered up at her, and noted the pinkish bit of sunburn gracing her nose and cheeks. "Doctor, I'm sure you're aware that as this is a top-secret facility, law enforcement flags on SGC personnel are forwarded to their commanding officers' immediate attention."

"Yes, sir."

"Then you may not be surprised to know that I received a fax this morning regarding two of my officers and a citation by the parks department for..." he glanced down at the paper on his desk. "'Reckless conduct.'"

To her credit, she barely flinched. "No, sir."

"Is there any... explanation you'd like to provide?"

The only thing that came to mind was "Sam started it!" Janet swallowed thickly, and shook her head. "It was an accident, sir. Nothing more."

He tried not to smile. The idea of Janet Fraiser doing anything at all that could be considered "reckless" made it difficult not to laugh out loud. "I trust Cassandra was not in any danger?"

"None, sir."

"And Major Carter is... unharmed?"

She was positively squirming. "Major Carter is in perfect health, sir."

"Good. See to it I don't get any future notices from local law enforcement, would you?" He finally relieved her of the reports she'd been holding out to him.

"Yes sir. Thank you sir." Janet whirled on her heel to beat a hasty retreat from his office.

Once she was gone, Hammond allowed himself a small chuckle as he crumpled the faxed law enforcement notice and tossed it in his garbage can. Two of his most competent, level-headed officers dunking each other in a lake...

Hell, he only wished there was photographic evidence.

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